Some people I work with remind me a lot of the months after my first husband and I separated. There was so much fear and anger. Spinning around much of the time was a horrid mix of blaming him for the failure of our marriage and what it was doing to our kids, blaming myself for the same, huge worries about how I would manage to live on the tiny amount of money available to me, despair about how I could protect my kids from the damage we were doing, and anxiety about how long it would take each of us to begin to recover.
There was no magic pill for dealing with the financial issues or the emotions quickly. What did help was finding support from others who had lived through or were living through their own similar nightmares. If you already have lots of friends and relatives who live nearby and are willing to listen to you for hours and help you calm down, build your strength and confidence, find ways to work constructively with an ex you may hate, that's great. Your kids really need you to do that. If not, I recommend looking for a divorce support group. Most areas have them available, often free or so nearly free that you can manage it. Obviously, it both members of an ex-couple want to do this, they need to find separate groups. If you don't like the first group you try, check out a couple more. Links to some support groups are on my "Resources" web page. You may easily enough find others through other sources.
There was no magic pill for dealing with the financial issues or the emotions quickly. What did help was finding support from others who had lived through or were living through their own similar nightmares. If you already have lots of friends and relatives who live nearby and are willing to listen to you for hours and help you calm down, build your strength and confidence, find ways to work constructively with an ex you may hate, that's great. Your kids really need you to do that. If not, I recommend looking for a divorce support group. Most areas have them available, often free or so nearly free that you can manage it. Obviously, it both members of an ex-couple want to do this, they need to find separate groups. If you don't like the first group you try, check out a couple more. Links to some support groups are on my "Resources" web page. You may easily enough find others through other sources.
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